Open Your Mouth
by IHateCleanBreaks
Summary: Bella is mute and lives at an institute for physically handicapped girls. The doctors can find no physical reason that she can't talk. Can Edward help her speak again?


**A/N: Just a little story about Bella, Edward, and Alice. Bella doesn't speak. Alice is deaf. Bella and Alice live at a boarding school for girls with physical handicaps. I'm stuck on chapter 18 of Changing Prejudices and as promised in my profile, here is an attempt to get over writer's block.**

**Up front-the time is the early 1900s, right before and during the Great Depression, although there aren't a lot of details about the time frame given. The time frame just explains reasons for certain things in the story. Tell me how you like it. Want me to continue? **

Open Your Mouth

She stood at the edge of the water, staring down at her bare feet. The rhythm of the waves calmed her racing heart. She was afraid of the ocean, with its hidden tides that grabbed ankles and floats with little girls on them and didn't let go until you were unable to see the shore. Even though she was afraid of it, she couldn't stay away from it. It sped up her heart and slowed it down at the same time.

She stood there for hours, alone, backing up as the water got closer to her feet. The tide was coming in, and when Nanny called her in, she'd been backed up to the tall sand dunes at the edge of the beach. They blocked her view of the Institute, and she panicked. The ever-encroaching water trapped her, and her back was digging into the dune. The sand was sliding into her open collar, and she paused to enjoy the rough feel.

The water touched her feet and called her attention back. Nanny yelled from the beach stairs and she ran to her.

"Ssh, Bella. It's okay. That little bit of water won't hurt you. I thought you liked water. Are you playing a game? No matter, your parents are here, come on inside," Nanny led her inside to the parlor where her parents were waiting for her.

She stood at Nanny's feet and looked up and up and up into the eyes of her father. He seemed to be so tall; as if he could touch the ceiling. She nodded to her father and mother and moved to the corner to play.

"How is she doing?" Charlie Swan asked. Bella pretended to play with blocks, but she was really listening. She always listened to what the adults said.

She never really interacted with adults at the Institute, and her parents were just more adults to her. The other children ran to their parents and sat on their laps and cuddled and kissed and searched pockets for candy and toys. Mother and Father were no different to her than the teachers and staff. She'd lived at the Seattle Institute for Girls since she was three, and had formed no emotional attachment to her concerned parents.

"She's mostly the same. She spends hours chasing the tides and running away from them. She eats better, though. She still only plays with the deaf girls. They communicate with sign language."

"Isabella, come here to Moma, Bella." At the mention of her name, she put down the blocks and dutifully stood in front of Renee Swan.

"You are so precious. I wish you would talk to me. There is no reason for you not to. Please talk to Moma, baby," Mother pleaded with tears in her eyes, stroking Bella's cheek.

"Isabella, you continue getting better, and you can come home," Father said, full of hope. "Oh, please get better." Father turned her towards him and hugged her tightly. They gave her some candy and little toys and a new doll and reluctantly left. Mother and Father always called her Isabella. Only Nanny knew she preferred Bella.

Bella passed out the candy and toys to the deaf girls but kept the doll to herself. She forgot her usual routine and instead sat on the broad porch with her new doll.

Her mother had said that the doll's name was Melissa. Bella touched Melissa's mouth. It was molded into a perfect little smile. No sound ever came out of Melissa's mouth, and no one ever expected it to. She was blind, deaf, and mute. Bella was only mute. Melissa was exactly what she was expected to be, and Bella wasn't.

Melissa was perfect. She was just the right size for Bella to hold in her arms. She wore a Victorian style dress in Bella's favorite color—blue. Her hair was a dark brown with red highlights, the color that Bella's hair turned during the summer.

"Bella, dinner's ready. Come inside." She turned to look at Nanny, and then silently passed the message on to Melissa and the deaf girls playing on the small back lawn.

?

She stood at the edge of the water, looking down at her bare feet. The waves beat heavily on the rocks to her left. A storm raged somewhere out in the sea. Instead of calming her heart, this time her heart beat with the rhythm, even speeding up.

She held Melissa tighter as she ran away from the tide. It came in quicker than usual because of the storm. Once again, she was trapped against the dunes. She did not stop to enjoy the rough sand sliding down her shirt. She began panicking—Nanny wouldn't know to come early. She wouldn't know that she was really afraid of the water Bella spent her days watching carefully.

Each day she cataloged the boundaries of the water to see if it was coming closer to the Institute. The first sign of change she checked her memory to see if it had ever happened before. She thought of herself as protector of the Institute and Nanny and the deaf girls who could not hear the dangerous waves.

She talked to Melissa in her head as she had done for the many months she'd had her. The edge was getting closer, and was tickling her toes. It reminded her of a scene in a book she'd finished yesterday. She told it to Melissa, trying to distract herself.

The heroine was twenty, an age that seemed an eternity away for nine-year-old Bella. The heroine was chained to the floor in a large pit that was slowly filling with water. The water got almost to her eyes before her boyfriend finally saved her.

Bella had no boyfriend. She'd never really even seen a boy before. So she had no boyfriend to save her. She stood, digging her back into the sand, praying for someone to save her.

"Hello there, need help?" A velvety voice called from above her. She turned around and looked up into the emerald eyes of a strange boy. She didn't do anything at first, so the boy asked again.

"I said, do you need help? Are you deaf?" She shook her head no. She first opened her mouth, and almost spoke, but then remembered she couldn't.

The boy reached down and pulled her and Melissa up on top of the dune. She stared at the boy, shocked to see one near the Institute. His hair looked like a strange tint of red, or was it brown, in the sunlight.

"Afraid of the water? I love it. I wish that we lived near it; instead I only get to see it when we come to see my sister Alice. She's at the Seattle Institute for Girls. Do you live there too?" She nodded.

"Can you talk?" Bella stood there. "So, I guess you do live at the Institute, huh? You might know my sister, Alice Cullen? She's seven. She's here because she's deaf and Moma wanted her to get as much education as she could. There's no place back home for her to go to, so she had to come here. We live in another state, and it's a long train ride here. We only get to come once a month, Daddy makes a lot of money, so we could come more often, but Moma doesn't have a lot of time, and I'm in school, too."

The boy rambled the whole walk back to the Institute, even when they reached the porch. He spoke about piano lessons and his best friends back home, Emmett nad Jasper. They caused a lot of mischief and were known by everyone in their neighborhood. Bella wasn't used to hearing boys talk, and listened more intensely than usual. She wanted to talk back to him, so she started to sign, but then stopped herself.

"Go ahead, I know sign language. My whole family does."

"My name is Bella," she signed. "What is yours? How old are you? Was Alice born deaf? Why can you hear and she can't?" She signed very fast, almost without thinking.

"My name is Edward. I am eleven. Alice was born deaf. I don't know why she is and I'm not." The boy paused there, and Bella noticed they were almost to the Institute.

"I actually better get back to my parents. They might be worried. I had to see the water before we left," he signed as quickly as he spoke, a little better than Bella from longer experience. She had only begun the year before, not really wanting to learn at all. Nanny had finally convinced her that she needed to learn so she could help with the deaf girls.

Alice's family was more faithful than Bella's. Bella's family came to visit every month at first, but then they got caught up in their own lives and thought of her less. They still loved her, but it was so far to come and they just got used to her being gone. They had another child, a boy who was healthy. He spoke at an early age, and Bella marveled that even though he could talk and she couldn't, they came from the same family.

The Cullens, Esme and Carlisle came every weekend, sometimes bringing extra candy for Bella. Alice and Bella were friends now, since Edward had fallen into her life. She needed that connection to the only boy she knew.

?

She stood at the edge of the water, staring down at her bare feet. The soft rhythm of the waves tried, as usual, to calm her racing heart. Her parents had forgotten her again this week. They had written a month ago to say that they were planning to visit the next week; but they still hadn't come. Seth, Bella's little brother, was four, and he needed to see more of the world. So her parents had taken him on a tour of Europe. He was only four years old, and he got to see Europe. Bella was thirteen, and was beginning to feel hurt at her parents' absence and her continued confinement at the Institute.

She clutched Melissa, first chasing the tide, then running away from it. She tried not to let her parents bother her. After all, her whole life was the Seattle Institute for Girls; she didn't know anything else. Yet, there was something that rose up inside her when she saw Alice's family visiting regularly. When she saw Edward and Mr. and Mrs. Cullen dote on Alice and cry when they left her. When she saw or heard about one of the other girls finally going home.

She wondered what her parents' house was like. She had a picture of her parents holding her in front of the house they lived in when she was born, but she didn't remember seeing it herself. All she remembered was the Institute. There was a nice tree in the front yard, and the little house was surrounded by a forest. Her parents used to tell her stories of what they would play in that yard once she got better and came home.

The other girls made fun of her because she was thirteen and still carried around her doll. She played with Alice, because preferred the younger deaf children to any of the other girls closer to her age. She still loved to stand at the water and watch the waves curl onto the shore. She didn't do it as often, because her fear had become worse, and the waves rarely settled her heart anymore. But today, she didn't care. She almost wished for the water to grab her toes and pull her out to sea. Maybe there someone would care about her and love her.

"Still confronting the water?" Edward appeared over the edge of the sand dune. She'd forgotten that this was the day for his now monthly visit. He was fifteen, and had to come on Saturdays, while his parents came on Fridays. He seemed to love his deaf sister, and Bella added that fact to the growing list of things that confused her.

She looked at Edward and then turned back to the water, speaking to Melissa in her head. He stood there for a few minutes, and then walked down the dune to stand beside her.

"They told me about your parents. I'm sorry they've forgotten to come again." He didn't try to make excuses for them like the adults did. He stood there, being her friend, letting her know he was there for her. She felt an unfamiliar stirring in her heart at how close he was.

"Bella," he said, "I am sorry. I won't forget you, and neither will Melissa." He touched Melissa's worn mouth. He stood there for a few more minutes, then walked away. He did that quite often. He would only stay a few minutes and talk to her and then abruptly leave with rarely a goodbye.

She knew that Edward and Melissa would not forget her. They were her family. And even Alice would always be there, across the hall, eager for a conversation. Eager for a chance to prove they really were friends. Alice's cheerfulness helped Bella more than she would ever admit. It helped her remain outwardly unfazed as things slowly crumbled in her life. Edward was the only one she could not fool.

At night, Bella stared out her window, thinking up stories for why her parents didn't come, or sometimes stories about what they were doing in Europe. Sometimes she would imagine that she was with them. That she had never come to the Institute and that she could talk. Then she tried to imagine what her voice sounded like and would break down crying because all she knew was her voice in her head and she was afraid it would be different if she ever spoke out loud.

The only thing that would stop her crying was thinking about Edward and how different he was from the other speaking people in her life.

?

She stood at the edge of the water, staring down at her bare feet. Her parents hadn't come last week like they'd written, but they called on the newly installed phone and told Nanny that they were on their way. Forks was pretty far away from Seattle, and they'd called when they were halfway there. Bella wondered if they were going to be side tracked again. That was their excuse for last week.

She wrote to Edward every day when he wasn't there, and Alice sent the letters with hers. It was Edward who suggested Bella write to him. He couldn't write back all the time, but his letters were usually long and very open. Bella told him everything, but she didn't tell him that her parents thought that a new cinema was more interesting than their own daughter was. She still wondered why she was always hurting because of her parents, even after all these years.

Her mother had written, "Seth is growing so quickly. However, he still will not sleep in his own bed. Your father and I do not mind him sleeping with us, yet we do think he needs more consistency. We are always traveling here or there and so he cannot get used to his new room."

Edward explained that probably meant that they felt her absence less because Seth could talk. And they were becoming lazy. Edward always told Bella the straight truth. But it was usually in a way that she didn't realize it was so harsh. He tried his hardest to protect her from the bad things.

He had actually talked with her for an hour that day. On his monthly visits, he could usually spare only a few minutes. Yet a few minutes a month stretched over four years can help to create a surprisingly strong friendship.

Theirs was really a letter-based friendship. There was no real need to talk much when they met because they shared so much on paper. More than if they were face to face, actually. Bella had learned that people aren't always honest face to face. But for some reason they had to tell the truth on paper. Even her parents told the truth on paper. Even when they broke their word about visits. They just got sidetracked. So she preferred paper.

As she was staring out at sea, Nanny called her name. She walked inside, crushing Melissa to her. The other children laughed at her and tried to pull Melissa away. They wanted Bella to grow up. Nanny led her to the parlor. There, sitting in the same chairs they always sat in, in the exact positions as always, were her parents and Seth. He had grown a lot in two months, as had she.

Her parents were slightly taken aback by the change in Bella. Two months had greatly affected her look. She'd grown in many ways. However, her face was thin and pale. She walked as though she carried the responsibility of an old woman. She did not look like a healthy thirteen-year-old. And she still carried around that old doll.

"Bella, dear, how are you?" Father asked. She signed that she was fine. Nanny had to translate for Bella's father. They didn't try to talk over her, but the three adults exchanged looks that said that she looked so worn and unhealthy.

"You look fine. Have you been eating?" Mother asked. Yes, she signed back. And exercising too.

There was a long and awkward silence.

"Well, your father's job is doing well. And the town is growing so much. We've been able to hire Seth a private tutor. He'll be able to study and stay at home with me. And good news, we're thinking about having another baby." This shocked Bella. Did they need another reason not to come? Were they trying to have a little girl to completely replace her? Not for the first time in her life did she wish she could talk.

Bella stood up, signed her good-byes, and then walked outside back down to the water. It was the one thing that frustrated her more than her parents did. The water frustrated her because it tried so hard to make things better, but only made things worse.

She didn't sign to anyone that night. She went to her room, locked the door, and wrote a long letter to Edward. But she never wrote a word about the new baby.

?

She stood at the edge of the water, looking down at her bare feet. The water seemed to let her know that it was okay. It approved of her decision. Things would be better now, she hoped.

She hugged Melissa tighter and then walked inside. She didn't wait for the water to trap her against the dune, and she didn't wait for Nanny to call her in. She wanted it done by the time Edward arrived after lunch. He'd be proud, she knew. He'd suggested it often, but she hadn't been able to bring herself to do it yet.

All the girls at the Institute were given beautiful trunks on their sixteenth birthday. Bella had had hers for almost three months. Her parents had brought seven-year-old Seth and one-year-old Emily to her birthday party. They hadn't come to see her in four months. Emily had been sick and Bella's father had wanted to stay with the family.

There had been a couple of times when her father came to see her without her mother. It had been fun to be with her parents for a few hours at the party instead of only a few minutes. They had actually almost treated her like she was a real part of the family, but they had to leave too soon. Edward and Alice planned the party themselves and Edward had stayed all day.

Edward was eighteen now and trying to decide whether to go to music school. There was a school nearby, and he missed his sister so much when he wasn't with her. But his parents wanted him to stay home and go to a real college.

"I don't need a real job. I love playing the piano. It is soothing to compose the music inside me. Dad wants me to go into the family business and take over so he can retire. But I want to be here so Alice won't be alone. And then maybe we can actually have conversations longer than five minutes. And you won't have to write letters anymore."

Bella signed "But I like writing letters." She loved writing letters. In letters she could say all that she wanted. And no one had to know that she couldn't speak. Her words were alive and real on the page, not trapped inside her head. It was the same reason she loved to read.

Now, weeks later, she went into her room and opened her trunk at the foot of her bed. All the girls used to have to share one long room, but a rich person died and left enough money to rebuild the Institute and give all the girls their own room.

Bella spoke to Melissa in her head one last time. She thanked her for always being who she was and not letting her down. However, it was time for her to put away childish things. The other girls were getting into make-up and boys. She was still playing with dolls. Alice and Edward had both encouraged her to put Melissa away. If nothing else but for her hurting heart.

She hurt every time someone laughed at her.

She'd never quite gotten over her love for the little deaf girls. Most of the ones she'd grown up with had gone home years ago. But there were always more to love and help. She had found her place in the Institute. She worked with the deaf girls when they first arrived. She helped to teach them sign language and helped get them used to being away from home.

The other girls made fun of her, but deep down they still liked her and none of it was really mean. It was simply funny to see a 16-year-old carrying around a doll. Sixteen year olds were concentrating on getting a husband and learning to keep house. And they were hurting because they felt abandoned at the Institute.

"Goodbye Melissa," she said in her head. She hugged her and laid her down in the trunk. She also put in all her outfits. She'd already given Melissa's crib to the newest deaf girl, Melody. She looked one last time at the love-worn face. The hair was falling out and twelve-year-old Bella had glued a hat to her head to hide the bald spots. The cheeks weren't rosy anymore and the glass eyes were worn down to the colored irises. But she was still beautiful. She touched Melissa's worn mouth one last time before she closed the trunk and locked it.

She heard the bell ring for lunch and walked to the deaf wing. The girls there would be waiting for her to come for them. They knew when it was time because of the clock, but they still waited for Bella to get them.

"Bella, where is Melissa?" Nanny asked her.

"I put her away in my trunk," Bella signed. As she sat down at her table other girls noticed it too. Some asked her about it, and others asked other girls about it. Bella gave no explanation other than that she just decided to put her away.

"Bella, I am so proud of you," Alice signed. "I hope that you didn't do it because Edward and I--."

"No, no," Bella interrupted. "I did it because I felt it was time. I am sixteen and Melissa is tired and worn out. She needs to rest until another little girl comes to play with her. Hopefully that will happen one day." She signed the last part slowly. It was the first time she'd ever thought about a possible little girl of her own. It scared her to think of it.

It scared her even more that those thoughts included Edward.

?

She stood at the edge of the water, and stared out over the ocean. She could feel the power, and she wanted it to take her. She wanted it to crash over her, sweep her out to sea, and then drown her. Death would be so much easier than trudging forward now.

Alice was leaving the Institute. Edward's parents had allowed him to go to the music school, but then they took Alice out of the Institute because their father lost his job. They couldn't afford to have both children in school, and Edward was the one they chose. Alice was deaf and would never go very far in the world.

So, although Edward was at the music school, Bella never saw him. She continued to write to Edward and Alice, and they both wrote back. There was a letter for Bella every week from Alice, but Edward wrote fewer letters.

Bella was lonely without her friends. She helped the deaf girls and they loved her for it, but they weren't her _friends_. She couldn't talk as freely with them as she could with Alice and Edward. That Sunday's chapel service really expressed how she was feeling.

"This world can be a cold, lonely place. Most people are raised in a family setting for years, and when they get married, they are expected to leave that and go out into the world to make their own family."

"Sometimes it is fun and exciting to leave home for the first time. To have no parents ordering you around, to have no rules. But then it can get very lonely having no one to come home to, no one to hug you and be there when you need them."

"Or perhaps, you've never known the warmth of home. There are children right in this very town that live in that Institute and go for months without seeing their families. They have in many cases been abandoned and forgotten."

"But, you see, God knows all this. He sees your loneliness, and He hurts for you. He is lonely for you. He longs to hold you and love you. And those lonely souls that find their way to Him, He sends people to comfort them. He sends them fellow believers to form families. "

This is something that stirred Bella's heart and made her long for Edward and Alice even more. But this was also the message that broke her heart. As her heart melted inside, she couldn't cry out, though she wanted to so badly. The tears streamed down her face as in her mind she shouted to God all her hurt and loneliness and fear.

?

She stood at the edge of the water and for the first time felt the peaceful effect it had. She had been learning so much recently. She felt joy and peace and happiness. Her life was still up in the air, and she hadn't seen her parents in six months, never mind the letters they wrote. She was eighteen and in one week would be graduating from the Seattle Institute for Girls.

She would then begin working with deaf children at the new Seattle Villa Institute. The Institute was expanding to include boys as well as girls. To reflect the new building and operation, the name was changed. It was still for physically and mentally challenged children, and it was still a boarding school.

Bella had decided to teach and be a friend to the deaf children there for as long as she was needed. Most of the little girls that she had helped over the years had improved enough to go home and that gave her encouragement. Perhaps she could be useful to more students. Even though she couldn't speak.

Edward was busy with his second year finals. She hadn't heard from him in three months, but Alice had written to say that was why he hadn't written. He barely had time to write his family. But he sent his congratulations on her graduation and her new position.

Bella longed to talk to Edward about what she had learned in the past two years about herself and her decision to teach.

But I guess he has found a new little girl to be friends with, she thought one day. And the thought made her jealous. She was confused. She'd never thought of him as anything more than a friend, so why should she be jealous? Bella had her first crush and she hadn't even realized it. She'd read enough in the past to know what was going on. She'd decided a long time ago to write her own books instead of reading the ones that made her long for something she didn't know. But the knowledge was still there.

Graduation day came, and her family was actually there. Nine year old Seth and three year old Emily looked shiny and doll-like as they handed Bella the three dollars they had been given by their parents for Bella's graduation present. Her parents also had three dollars each to give her. That was a total of twelve dollars. It was a tradition in their family to give the graduate one dollar for every year they'd been in school. Times had been tough on the Swan family and twelve dollars was a lot of money to them. Bella smiled and rushed off to sit on the stage with the other graduates.

Her mother was pregnant again, and Bella knew that she had really been replaced in the family. She was an oddball, the only one to never speak. It was likely that the third would speak also.

She looked over the crowd and thought about her past. The good times and the bad. She was the valedictorian, and signed a very short speech while Nanny translated for her. Her parents said goodbye and Mother walked away with the children. Her father stuttered a little and then was silent. He finally got up his nerve and began again.

"Isabella, you know that your mother and I really love you and you will always be our first born. You're old enough, though, not to need us around all the time. And your mother is pregnant again with twins this time. It will be a great physical and financial strain to come all this way to see you a lot." Bella nodded. The Institute had been lucky to have received the rich man's money before the Depression hit. The building was nice but they struggled to have enough food and decent clothes for everyone.

"And you're all grown up, so, we've decided that we'll leave you alone to live your own life and we'll try not to interfere. You know that even though we've not always been able to see you, we've always written, and that won't change. So I guess we'll see you sometime. We're really proud of you." After he finished, Charlie Swan left Bella to find his family.

Bella was left to herself, and she walked around the old building and down to the water. She stood at the edge and looked down at her feet.

"Well, this looks like the first time we met," a velvet voice from above said.

She jumped and turned around. Edward stood at the top of the dune that was considerably smaller than it was nine years ago.

I thought you weren't coming, Bella signed.

"I wanted it to be a surprise. Alice sends congratulations." She climbed the stairs and walked to where he was still. He told her all about music school and she told him about the changes in the Institute and herself.

I have wanted to tell you all about the change in me, she signed. Since I can hear and sign, I feel that I can really help deaf boys and girls to learn sign language and to be able to operate in this world. They can almost be self-sufficient. They will learn to read lips, and almost form words.

"How can you teach them to lip-read if you don't speak?"

I know what the words sound like and I know how to make my mouth form them. So I can mouth the words as I sign. They won't know that I'm not really talking.

"Amazing. I never thought that you would be able to do so much."

Why not? Bella signed.

"Well, you were such a scared little girl, and you clung to Melissa for so long. It seemed like you would be a little girl forever. But you proved me wrong."

What do you mean?

"I felt that you were special. Bella, there is some reason you don't speak. It isn't physical; that has been proven. It has something to do with how amazing you are. I've never come across anyone like you in my life." It seemed as though he wanted to say more, but a flush crept across his cheeks and he stayed silent.

Edward didn't stay much longer after that. He explained that his train was leaving soon, but Bella knew that the next train wouldn't be for another hour or so, and the station was a ten minutes' walk away. She watched him go, and felt that things wouldn't stay the same for much longer. It almost seemed like Edward was saying goodbye.

?

She stood at the edge of the water and sighed. She always walked ten minutes up the beach to the old Institute beach when she wanted to think. She also did it when she really missed Edward.

Today she was there for both reasons. She really wished that Edward would peek his head over the dune behind her like he'd done for so many years. She was always at the edge of the water when he came to visit Alice, so he always looked for her there.

It had been three years since she'd graduated from the Institute. And at twenty-one Bella had grown into a beautiful woman. She was still awkward and slightly clumsy, but it was easy to see that once you got to know her the awkwardness would go away.

It was a change for her to work around men. Since the school was expanded to include boys, the staff expanded to include men. There were special deaf children that she went from class to class with in order to translate for them. Very few of the professors could sign, so she had to go to a lot of classes. Bella was the only one able to teach sign language, so all the students as well as teachers came through her large classroom. She often wondered why they hired anyone who could not sign to teach at a school with a large deaf population.

She was amazed at all the changes in her short life and at the impact that one man had had on it. As she was reflecting, Alice walked down to stand beside her. Bella was happy to see her, but Alice looked awful as she signed to her.

"Bella, Edward-he-he-he was hit by one of those new automobiles while crossing the street yesterday. The hospital says he may not make it. I've come to tell you myself and so that we can be together."

Bella was so affected by the suddenness of Alice's signing that words slipped from her mouth before she could think.

"No, not Edward."


End file.
